My beautiful baby girl, Kristina Anne, is 1 month old! The past month has been the best month of my life, full of smiles, immense gratitude, happy tears, so many diapers, and sharing my joy with family and friends! Motherhood is truly the most rewarding and special part of my life, as it is for so many women all over the world.
Kristina’s birth story started out with an ultrasound, as I was over a week past my due date. During this scan, they found excess levels of amniotic fluid, so I went straight to the hospital to begin an induction. My whole pregnancy, I read books about natural birth and was very eager to go into labor spontaneously and have an unmedicated birth. So, I was very nervous to be induced and did not know what to expect.
Thankfully, my husband, Benson, was with me the whole time, praying with me and encouraging me through every single contraction. I labored without pain medicine for 17 hours, but as the contractions (and exhaustion) increased in intensity, I opted for an epidural. This was also something I had not planned for, and I mourned the opportunity to feel every part of labor. However, I’m not sure I would have had the energy to push without it.
Finally, after 22 hours of labor, my midwife said it was time to push! The room filled up with nurses and hospital staff, all ready to help me welcome my daughter into the world. The pushing was the easiest part of labor, and after 30 minutes her head was on the way out. It was in that moment, when I looked up in the mirror on the ceiling and saw my daughter’s head, that it really sank in that I was having a baby! One more big push and my daughter was born!
Everyone tells you that you forget the pain of labor, which is certainly true. What I will never forget is the moment my baby was placed on me for the first time. She was squirming and upset, obviously confused by the bright lights and new surroundings. I got to comfort her for the first time, holding her tiny body close and introducing myself to her. Her big blue eyes opened slowly, and I was surprised by how bright they were! Benson cut the cord and the room emptied out to just the 3 of us. Those first hours as a family of 3 were pure bliss.
In the past month, Krisitna has met almost all of her extended family and many of our friends. It has been so much fun introducing her to all the people we love. Krisitna spends most of her time sleeping and eating! When she is awake, she loves laying on her play mat and staring at our faces. Everything she sees is new to her, so seeing the world through a newborn’s eyes helps me appreciate the wonder in mundane things. She also helps me to slow down and appreciate every moment.
Many voices in our world say that happiness is found in doing exactly what you want- getting the best education, going on lavish vacations, getting rich, and never worrying about anyone except yourself. The media is replete with stories suggesting that marriage and family responsibilities are not fulfilling. This is completely false. There is nothing more rewarding and fulfilling than living your life as a gift to your spouse and children, putting the needs of your child before your own selfish desires, and growing together in love as a family. For instance, when Kristina is crying at 3am, I sometimes selfishly wish that she would quiet down and I could go back to sleep. However, I reframe this by thinking how lucky and blessed I am to have a healthy baby who needs me. It is both my duty and my privilege to wake up, feed and comfort her, and be her mother.
Motherhood is not always easy. In the past month, I’ve cried many tears of joy but also some of worry and exhaustion. We do so much laundry and getting ready each day takes a lot longer. But what I’m “losing”- a couple hours of sleep, a little free time- pales in comparison to everything I’m gaining. Being a mother is the most fulfilling job because you actively put your child’s needs first, and in doing so you learn what life is all about. We are not here on this earth for ourselves, but to give of ourselves to others in love. And the love I feel in return when Kristina falls asleep on my chest, or looks into Benson’s like they’re the best thing she’s ever seen, or makes the sweetest sounds as she stretches in the morning, is the best reward.
By Bella Fechter
This is part two. Read the other parts below.
Part One: Rewarding Motherhood