Kristina Anne is 12 weeks old, and I can hardly believe how much she’s grown and changed. What a gift these past three months have been—full of tiny milestones, big emotions, and a kind of joy that can only come from pouring your heart into another person’s life. In the past 2 months, she’s transformed from a sleepy newborn to a chubby, playful baby. It’s bittersweet to look back at pictures from her first days to see how little she was, but amazing to see how much she is growing now! She is close to 15 pounds!
Some of Kristina’s recent milestones include sweet cooing sounds, sucking on her hands, holding her head up during tummy time, and her very first trip to the beach! Watching her eyes widen as her feet felt the ocean made me see the world through her wonder-filled eyes. She also was baptized on Mother’s Day and met her newest friend, a beautiful baby boy born in late May. Everything is new to her, and through her, I’m learning how to slow down and appreciate even the smallest moments.
Almost every time I sing with her or say “I love you,” she responds with an adorable toothless grin. When she coos in response to our voices or stares at us with her bright blue eyes, it’s a reminder that real joy comes not from doing what’s easy, but from giving yourself fully in love.
Every part of me—body, mind, and soul—is being stretched in this season. I’m learning patience, resilience, and how to give without counting the cost. I’m also learning how to receive: to accept help, grace, and the deep love of my husband as we navigate this journey together. Asking for help was a difficult thing for me before being a mom. But in these past few months, I’ve learned how to gracefully receive the help of my wonderful family and friends in caring for Kristina.
I’m also learning the meaning of sacrificing myself—my wants and desires—out of love for Kristina. For instance, many of my friends are now home for summer before beginning grad school or starting jobs. Many of them are able to go out at any time of the day, while I have to prioritize Kristina’s schedule and bring her with me to hang out with friends. It is wonderful bringing her along, but I also know it means not always getting to do all the things I used to do before I was a mom. While I may miss out on a few activities, putting my beautiful daughter first is such an honor and teaches me to be a better person. In a culture that often tells women to seek fulfillment in individual success or self-centered freedom, I’ve found the opposite to be true. True freedom comes in love. True purpose is found in sacrifice.
Over the last 2 months, I also helped to care for a family member struggling with her mental health. I was worried at first that I wouldn’t have the time or energy in addition to caring for Kristina. Yet, I learned with the grace of God that I wasn’t stretched too thin. On the contrary, being a mother has made me grow—in love, patience, and wisdom—to compassionately help everyone who relies on me.
There are moments when I miss my old routines. Sometimes I feel guilty for wanting my body back in great shape or wanting more sleep. But even in those moments, I’m filled with gratitude. Because I know I’m living the life I was meant to live. Kristina needs me—and I need her just as much. She has taught me that love is not just a feeling, but a choice we make daily. A beautiful, life-giving, soul-shaping choice.
If you’re a new mom, or preparing to become one, take heart. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to show up—with love, with patience, and with the willingness to grow. And in return, you’ll receive something more valuable than anything the world could offer: a life of meaning, rooted in love. Motherhood is not a burden—it is a blessing. A powerful, joy-filled, rewarding blessing. And I thank God every day for the chance to live it.
By Bella Fechter
This is part three. Read the other parts below.